Life chat

Life chat: “sweeping toxic relationships and boosting your self-esteem”.

Loving yourself is more a way of living than a slogan.

There is an indissoluble circle that connect self-esteem with well-being and mental health. Cleaning your life of all the bad things you don’t need is a good way of self-appreciation.

Surround yourself only of valuable positive people. Apart the toxic ones!

As humans who live in society, we seek for companionship and interactions with other people; that’s our nature! I mean going to live like a hermit in a cave or in a desert island is good for a cartoon or for series but, admit it, isn’t for everyone. It is also proven that our energies connect with persons and environments, and our feelings and emotions get transformed during our interactions.

So, knowing that, why sharing our time with negative people? Why to keep them in our circle and allow them to change our colourful aura of positivism and stability? What level of lack of love and care about your own life are you at, to allow yourself bringing this harm to your inner peace?

Did you ever feel that as soon as you get in to a place, your head is more heavy and drowsy, and you experiment certain anger without a real reason? Well, that’s because toxic persons drain your energy, change your mood for bad even by standing around them; they try to turn your success in failures with their envy, and constantly try to pull you down.

One thing is dealing with everybody in a social environment at a moment, and another case would’ve been bringing anybody with a negative charge into your personal life.

Be selective about with whom you hangout, because bad energies spread as same as good vibes or more.

Your self-worth is not determined by someone else’s appreciation.

Set your standards, set your bar according to your principles and desires or aspirations, and be consistent to it thru your actions; at a level where anyone coming into your life, who wants you to level down and change that attitude of being true  to yourself first than to others, won’t be worthy to keep by your side.

Stay with those who are with you for who you are, not for becoming the one who changed just to fill their expectations, and lost himself in the process.

Don’t stay where you are not needed or appreciated.

That wouldn’t be loyalty, but breaking yourself in pieces.

You are worthy. Your time, cleverness, capability, care, work and sacrifice are valuables and are not for giving it to anybody that take it for granted without giving you a proper retribution.

Be brave and walk away from that place/person! It’s the best thing you can do for yourself, even if it feels bad in the beginning. You don’t owe any loyalty to those who let you down and step on your integrity and on your personal or spiritual or intellectual worth.

Worst thing is to stay beside someone who try to make you feel bad about yourself.

Not a boss, not a couple should be allowed to make you feel you are not good enough. Don’t give anybody that power over you!

Not saying you are better than anyone, but there is none on earth better than you!

We are not all at the same social or economical or professional level; we all have qualities and defects if you wanna call them like that; there is people with DIFFERENT capabilities and others with inability for certain activities, BUT there’s NO human being BETTER THAN YOU.

And be sure about this: that most of the time those trying to break you down are more insecure and are less capable than you and can’t stand your bright.  They go beyond not appreciating you into actually trying to lower your self-esteem.  Do not let them! You don’t need to stay and prove them you are worthy or spend your energy trying to make them see you; you don’t have the duty to please them or to try change their attitude because they will not. They are projecting their own insecurities onto you so they don’t need to face it in themselves.

The moment you feel that you need to prove yourself is the moment you need to close that door behind you for good.

Relax , take time for yourself, say no when it’s necessary.

Example you can take daily a half hour of your day and dedicate it to be alone, meditate, breath, empty your mind, practice any relaxing therapeutic technique, listen to a reaffirmation message… try different things till you find something that suits you. Learn from small children, they don’t need anything  or anybody to enjoy their time because they are enough to themself.  It is really worthy and liberating to be alone with the inner you for a while; and to comfort yourself and to think about you. See that you can’t give what you don’t have, but what is within you; so clean and liberate your inside from any charge so you can face your daily life routines and problems with another perspective while you are less stressed.

Same thing is allowing yourself to please you with a gift of something you really enjoy from time to time, even if it has material or spiritual significance. You are always doing it for kids and relatives and friends; and yes, giving feels great, but pleasing yourself with small details is also necessary.

Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive.  When saying no will hurt others, but saying yes will hurt yourself, then honour yourself and don’t give long excuses! It’s enough reason if you are saying: “No, I don’t agree as I see it’s not good or it’s harmful to me or makes me transgress my moral integrity”. The others will not understand any excuse that you give anyway, because they want to be pleased, they expected you to please them. So you can make this less hurting, by learning to deal with it yourself. Accepting that others might say no when you require them, because they have their own standards and priorities, will help you do the same thing. Ask yourself a simple question: “Is this what I want?”

Being truly you, using time for anything you want and saying no when you feel so, is not selfishness; it is sane and necessary. It reboots your energy, releases stress and makes you feel like if is possible facing whatever it comes against you. It’s another way of loving you and boosting your self-esteem for the sake of your mental health.





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